INT.     CLUB  X CAVE - NIGHT

Flickering candlelight illuminates the cave.  Jessica
cautiously enters.  She looks around, but sees no one.
Then, from the shadows, several hooded FIGURES emerge.
One speaks in a DEEP VOICE:

                    LEAD FIGURE
          Hold!  You have trespassed into the
          domain of Club X!

 Jessica pulls out the invitation, waves it.

                    JESSICA
          You only invited me.

                    LEAD FIGURE
          Ah!  Very well, then.  Enter, Jessica
          Wakefield.  If you dare ...

                    JESSICA
          Oooh, oogy boogy.  I'm so scared.

Jess goes up to the Lead Figure, pulls off his hood.
It's Bruce.

                    JESSICA
          I knew it was you, Bruce.

                    BRUCE
              (re: Jess' head)
          Well, I guess it's not all air in
          there, is  it?

                    JESSICA
          Tee hee.  Let's skip the kids stuff
          and get down to some serious  anarchy.

                    BRUCE
          Easy, easy.  You can't have anarchy
          without knowing the rules.
                (crosses to a table with a
                 piece of velvet covering
                 something)
          This is the WHEEL OF  MISFORTUNE...

Bruce pulls back the piece of velvet to reveal a Wheel
of-Fortune-type wheel, with the names of the X'ers on
different slices of it.  Jess' name is there as well.

                    BRUCE
          First we decide what bit of  mayhem
          we'll perpetrate next. Then,  we  spin
          the Wheel to see who must carry  it
          out.  If that person fails to do the
          dare, not only are they out,  they
          must submit to whatever  punishment
          the Club decides.

                    JESSICA
          Sounds simple enough.  What's
          tonight's prank?

                    BRUCE
          Not so fast. First comes initiation.
          You need to do something to prove
          you're up to Club X's standards.

                   JESSICA
          I can do anything you can come up
          with. As long as it's  not  perverted.

                    BRUCE
          Jessica, we have morals!  ...We just
          dare you to steal a car.

Jess can't hide her apprehension.  Bruce smiles.

                                           CUT TO:

EXT. MALL PARKING LOT  -  DAY

Bruce, Manny and the other X'ers hang by the mall
entrance in the large parking lot.  Jessica looks
nervously out at the numerous cars and shoppers.

                    BRUCE
          Cold feet, Wakefield?

A light goes on in Jess' mind.  She turns to Bruce, leans
close and whispers into his ear.

                    JESSICA
          No, I was thinking how hot all this
          danger is getting me.
               (running her hand down Bruce's
                back to parts below)
          Maybe you and me could slip away--

                    BRUCE
                 (coldly)
          It won't work, Wakefield.

                   JESSICA
                (innocently)
          What?

                    BRUCE
          Trying to sweet-talk your way out of
          the initiation.  Now get out there
          and do some grand theft auto.

                    JESSICA
                 (angrily)
          Fine ...

Jess stomps off into the parking lot.

                    BRUCE
         She thinks she's so clever.

Jess' scowl turns to a smile as she walks away from Bruce
down an aisle of cars.  She looks to her left hand-- it
holds Bruce's keys.  Jess pretends to scope out a
Plymouth next Bruce's Porsche.  She pulls out a slim-jim.

                    BRUCE
         She better not ding my car when she
         opens the door.

Manny spots a SECURITY JEEP approaching.

                    MANNY
         Heads up!  Security!

Bruce and the others turn away from the Parking Lot, look
nonchalant.  Jess hides the slim-jim.  As the Security
Jeep passes, Jess casually lets herself in Bruce's car,
STARTS IT.  Bruce recognizes the sound.

                    BRUCE
          HEY!!!

Jess backs the Porsche out of its space, then GRINDS
GEARS looking for first.  Bruce SCREAMS.  Jess FLOORS IT,
leaving rubber as she PEELS OUT of the parking lot.  The
other X'ers LAUGH, trade high fives.

                    MANNY
          Ha! Patman burned at his own game!
                 (to Bruce)
          Looks like we found someone sneakier
          than you, Bruce.  Come on, I'll  give
          you a lift.

Manny and the other X'ers return to their cars.  Bruce is
seething.

                    BRUCE
         Big mistake, Wakefield ...

                                        CUT TO:

INT.  MOON BEACH CAFE - DAY

Liz and Todd, in sweaty sweats, share a booth.

                    ELIZABETH
          Is something wrong, Todd?

                    TODD
          No, why?
             (sniffs sweatshirt)
          What, do I smell?

                    ELIZABETH
          I'm talking about us.  We used to see
          each  other  every  afternoon.  But for
          the last week, all you do is hustle
          games. If I didn't know better, I'd
          think you were trying to blow me off.

                    TODD
          Lord, no!
             (takes Liz'  hand)
          I love you, Liz.  But I just-- Well,
          I have my reasons.  But I promise:
          from now on, I'll put you first.

The SOUND OF SCREECHING TIRES.  Liz and Todd look out the
window.  A moment later, Jess struts in.

                    ELIZABETH
          What are you doing with Bruce's car?

                    JESSICA
          I stole it.

                    ELIZABETH
          Very funny.

                    JESSICA
          I wasn't  kidding.

                    ELIZABETH
          Jess!

                    JESSICA
                  (mocking)
          Liz!

Jess joins Lila at another booth.  A HUSTLER bouncing a
basketball enters the Cafe.  He accosts Todd.

                    HUSTLER
          You Todd  Wilkins?

                    TODD
          Yeah.  What's it to you?

                    HUSTLER
          Word is you're the top B-Ball boy in
          this backwards little burg.

                    TODD
          I play a little.

                    HUSTLER
          Well me and my pal Ulysses S. Grant
          say I can whoop your sorry little
          Sweet Valley butt right now.

Todd looks to Liz.

                    TODD
          I'm busy.

                    HUSTLER
          Not Sweet enough?  Let's say we make
          it TWO fifties.  That fire your jets?
          or you just chicken?

                    TODD
          ...Let's see the money.

Liz shoots Todd a look.

                    HUSTLER
            (pulls out two bills)
          Check 'em out.  Two overweight Post -
          Dixie Presidents.

                  ELIZABETH
          Todd--

                    TODD
          I'm sorry, Liz.

Todd stands, the Hustler smiles--he's got several inches
on Todd.  Then, in a flash, Todd SNATCHES the ball,
bounces it through the Hustler's legs, slips around him
and catches the ball.  The Hustler is stunned.  Todd
strides out the Moon Beach Cafe door.

                    TODD
                (as he exits)
          Take a close look at those bills,
          Dexter, it's the last time you're
          gonna see 'em.

                    HUSTLER
             (chases after Todd)
          The hell it is  ...

The Hustler exits.  Liz is upset.  She joins Enid and
Winston at the counter.

                    ELIZABETH
           Do you  believe  that?

                    WINSTON
          It's because he always wins.  Winners
          are the most obnoxious people on the
          planet.

                    ENID
          Spoken like a true loser.

                    WINSTON
          Thank you.

                    ELIZABETH
          Well if he'd just lose once, maybe
          he'd come back to earth.  Or at least
          the lower stratosphere.

                    ENID
          Yeah, but we'd need a pro to beat
          him.

                    ELIZABETH
                  (thinks)
         What an interesting idea...

Enid and Winston look to Liz.

                                        CUT TO:

INT.  CLUB X CAVE - NIGHT

Bruce UNROLLS a blueprint.  Jessica, Manny, and the other
X'ers crowd around.

                    BRUCE
          The school's new fountain.  Cooper
          dedicates it tomorrow in a noontime
          ceremony.

                    MANNY
          We gonna put soap in it?

                    BRUCE
          Better.  Foaming black sludge.

                   JESSICA
          And Cooper won't notice the black
          water in his fountain when he turns
          it on?

                    BRUCE
          It won't  be  black.
               (points to blueprint)
          Behind this hedge is the fountain's
          pump assembly.  We simply hook a
          bottle of the stuff to the pump
          intake, and voila.  Of course, we
          have to do it right before Cooper
          turns it on, so none of the color
          seeps into the fountain...

                    JESSICA
            (points to blueprint)
          The pump isn't twenty feet from the
          fountain.  Whoever hooks up the
          bottle is sure to get caught.

                    BRUCE
          That's why we have the Wheel.  Newest
          member spins.

Jessica looks to the other X'ers, SPINS the Wheel.  The
X'ers exchange nervous glances as the Wheel slows and
passes their name.  Bruce is cool as ice.  The Wheel
slows and stops ...

                    BRUCE
          The lovely  miss  Jessica.  You ready
          to sacrifice yourself for Club X?

                    JESS
          No.

Bruce likes this answer.

                    JESS (CONT.)
         Because I won't get caught...

                                        CUT  TO:

EXT.  SVH / NEAR FOUNTAIN - DAY

A tarp covers the newly completed fountain.  A crowd of
students and Sweet Valley residents has gathered for the
unveiling.

Behind the fountain is a low hedge obscuring the pump
housing.  Cooper stands behind the hedge with a
CONTRACTOR.

EXT.  BY FOUNTAIN PUMP HOUSING

The Contractor finishes setting the pump's timer.  Cooper
hovers over him.

                    COOPER
          ...And you checked the water in the
          fountain?

                    CONTRACTOR
          Everything's A-Okay.

                    COOPER
          Good.  The last thing I need is for
          Club X to screw this up.

The Contractor and Cooper exit.  A moment later, a
camouflage-clad Jessica emerges from some nearby bushes.
In her hand is a large, clear bottle filled with some
black substance.  Two hoses are attached to the bottle.
Jess keeps low.

BY THE FOUNTAIN

Cooper stands at a podium before the fountain.  The hedge
hiding the pump housing moves ever so slightly.

                   COOPER
          Welcome, residents of Sweet Valley...

BY THE  PUMP

We HEAR Cooper continue his speech.  Jess finishes
unhooking the pipes on the pump's intake.  She pulls the
stopper off the bottle's hoses.  Black goop gets on her
hands.

                   JESSICA
               (wiping hands)
          Uuck...

Jess attaches one hose to the pump's intake feed and the
other to the fountain's return feed.  The pump timer
CLICKS another notch.

BY THE FOUNTAIN

Cooper finishes his speech.

                    COOPER
          Thus, it is my pleasure to present
          to you the Tyler M. Prescott memorial
          fountain!!

The crane lifts the tarp off the majestic, multi-tiered
fountain.  The crowd APPLAUDS.

BY FOUNTAIN PUMP

The Pump timer KICKS ON.  Water swirls through the
plastic bottle, mixing with the black sludge.  Jessica
holds the fittings together.

BY THE FOUNTAIN

Water dances from the fountain's many fonts.  The Crowd
"oohs" in appreciation.  Then, a tinge of black seeps
into the water.  Then a darker tinge.  Soon the fountain
is belching forth thick black foam.  Students  TWITTER.

The pump COUGHS and SPUTTERS, SPITTING the sludge onto
the front row of spectators.  SCREAMS.  Cooper gets it in
the face.  Cooper shouts to the CONTRACTOR

                    COOPER
          Turn it OFF!!!

The Contractor heads toward the pump.  Jessica BOLTS out
from behind the hedge.

                    COOPER
          You there!  Stop!

Jess RUSHES into the nearest building.  Cooper RACES
after her.

INT.  SCHOOL HALLWAY

Jess races down the empty hall, ripping off her camo to
reveal street clothes underneath.  She stuffs the camo
into a trash can and rounds a corner.

Cooper enters, huffing and puffing.  He RUNS down the
corridor.  Jessica returns, walking casually.

                    JESSICA
               (waving, all sweet innocence)
          Hi, Principal Cooper.

Cooper NODS as he jogs by.  Jess breathes a SIGH of
relief.  Behind her, Cooper stops.

                    COOPER
            (catching up to Jess)
          Excuse, me, Miss Wakefield.  Do you
               have the time?

                    JESSICA
               (checks  watch)
          Sure, it's--

Cooper GRABS Jess' wrist, turns over her hand.  On her
palm is a telltale black stain.

                    COOPER
          You're in hot water, young lady...

Cooper drags Jessica away as we...

                                             FADE OUT.

               END OF ACT ONE

                   ACT TWO

FADE IN:

INT.  PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE

Jessica sits in a chair as  Cooper  paces  angrily.

                    COOPER
          First, the slugs in the elevator.
          Then the giant X etched into the quad
          lawn.  Then, my car; the goat--which
          is still loose, mind you--and finally
          the fountain. Do you have any idea
          the COST of this damage?

                    JESSICA
          I had nothing to do with  any  of  those
          things, Principal Cooper.
             (off Cooper's look)
          ...Okay,  the fountain.

                    COOPER
          As far as I'm concerned, everyone in
          Club X is equally guilty--

                    JESSICA
          I'm not part of Club X.  It was a
          copycat crime.

                    COOPER
          This is  serious, Miss Wakefield.  I
          want names.

Jess is silent.

                    COOPER
          Very well:  Unless you tell me who's
          behind Club X by the end of tomorrow,
          you'll be suspended for a full MONTH.

                                        CUT  TO:

INT.  SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY

By an open classroom door.  Inside, a TEACHER scolds a
STUDENT.

                    TEACHER
          You expect me to believe a GOAT ate
          your homework?  To the Principal's
          office.   Now!

                    STUDENT
          But it's true!

The Teacher points down the hall.  The Student sullenly
exits.  The Teacher shakes her head.  A moment later, a
GOAT runs by, pursued by two Janitors.

Jessica and Liz enter, watch the Janitors pass.  The two
girls continue down the hall.  We TRACK with them.

                    JESSICA
          It's so unfair!  Cooper's punishing
          me for everything Club x did!

                    ELIZABETH
          I warned you about those guys.  Bruce
          probably made up that fountain prank
          just to get you caught.

                    JESSICA
          Not that I trust Bruce, but he'd be
          taking an awful risk.  The Wheel
          could have stopped on his name.

                    ELIZABETH
          So you going to tell Cooper what he
          wants to know?

                    JESSICA
          Like you would?  Everyone in school
          would hate me.

                    ELIZABETH
          Maybe. But getting suspended won't
          play too well with Mom and Dad.

                    JESSICA
          I'm kinda in it, huh?

     Liz nods.  Winston and Enid enter.

                    WINSTON
          We're ready.

    ENID
          This is so exciting, we're going to
          see famous people.  You coming, Jess?

                    JESSICA
          No, I need some time to myself...

                                           CUT TO:

EXT.  LOT OUTSIDE LAKERS' TRAINING CAMP - DAY

Liz, Enid and Winston get out of Liz' car, head toward
the training center.

                    ENID
          I mean, wouldn't it be great if I
          wound up dating one of the Lakers?

                    ELIZABETH
          I think they're a little too old for
          you.

                    ENID
          Age isn't important, maturity is.
               (points offscreen, jumps up and
               down)
          Look, look!  Vladi  Divatz!  Isn't he
          just  gorgeous?  I...  I think I'm
          going to throw up...

                    WINSTON
          Grow up, Enid.
                (spots someone, taps Liz
                 repeatedly on  the  shoulder)
          It's J- J- J- W- W- W-... It's him!

Sure enough, JAMES WORTHY is getting into his nearby
Porsche.  Elizabeth leads Winston and Enid to the car.

                    ELIZABETH
          Excuse me, Mister Worthy?

Worthy recognizes Liz.

                    WORTHY
          Elizabeth, wasn't it?  You did an
          article on my program for homeless
          kids for your school newspaper.

                  ELIZABETH
          Wow, what a memory!  These are my
          friends Enid and Winston.

                   WORTHY
              (shakes Enid's hand)
          Enid ...

Enid won't let go.  When she finally does, she gazes at
her hand in awe.

                    WORTHY
               (extends his hand to Winston)
          My pleasure, Winston...

Winston is too star-struck to actually touch Worthy.

                   WINSTON
          No, please.  You're a three time
          world champion, you averaged over
          twenty points a game for five seasons
          straight.  I'm not worthy.

                   WORTHY
           (shakes Winston's hand)
          I know.  I am.  But you can call me
          James.  Now what can I do for you?

                                          CUT TO:

INT.  CLUB X CAVE - DUSK

No one's home.  Strewn among the Wheel, and beanbag
chairs are several empty soda cans and junk food
wrappers.  A somber Jessica enters.

                    JESSICA
          Or how about:  The principal wants me
          to rat you out, but of course I'd
          never squeal.  ...So could you all
          turn yourselves in?
                 (crossing to table)
          --That's not going to work either.
                 (to Wheel)
          This is all your fault.

Jessica spins the Wheel, flops herself onto a cushion.
The Wheel slows, stops.  On her name.

                    JESSICA
          Rub it in, why don't you.

Jess SPINS the Wheel harder.  It slows and stops on her
       name AGAIN.  Jessica is puzzled

                    JESSICA
          Now wait a  minute...

Jessica slowly turns the Wheel around.  She finds it
abnormally sticky in the area of her name.  Jess gently
bends back the cardboard which forms the surface of the
wheel.  Taped underneath the area with her name on it is
a magnet.

                   JESSICA
          You are true scum, Bruce.

                                        CUT TO:

EXT.  BASKETBALL COURT - DAY

Todd collects money from a broken Player.  Winston comes
up to him.

                    WINSTON
          Alright, Todd, it's time I taught you
          a lesson.  Tomorrow, you and me, one
          on one.

                    TODD
          You're kidding.  I'll vaporize you.

                    WINSTON
          Afraid?

                    TODD
          Yeah, I'm so terrified, I'll give you
          three points a basket.  How much can
          you afford to lose?

                    WINSTON
          How much you made so far?

                    TODD
          Four hundred bucks.

                    WINSTON
          Four hundred bucks it is.  Tomorrow,
          after school.  Be there or be
          ...elsewhere.

                                         CUT TO:

INT.  CLUB X CAVE - DUSK

Bruce, Manny and the X'ers enter to find Jess.

                    BRUCE
          Wakefield?  I thought you'd be home
          licking your wounds after your little
          tango with old Chrome-dome.

                    JESS
          He's already going to suspend me.
          Why not live it up?

                    MANNY
          Wow, Jess.  You're like the coolest.

The other X'ers AD LIB assent.  Jess smiles.  Bruce grits
his teeth.

                    BRUCE
          Shall we get to work?  There's a
          football game tomorrow.  And half-
          time just wouldn't be complete
          without one of us  running across the
          field with a "CLUB X RULES" banner.

                    MANNY
          That's tough, Bruce.  Security's sure
          to  catch  'em.

                    JESSICA
                (scoffs)
          That horse is so lame, I'd shoot it.

                    BRUCE
          Oh?  What do you suggest?

                   JESSICA
          How 'bout the person SKYDIVES into
          the stadium with the Club X banner.
          That's got some impact.  Of course,
          it would actually take GUTS--

                    BRUCE
                (laughs)
          Okay, Wakefield.  Skydive it is!

The Guys look amongst themselves.  They're not too
thrilled with this idea.

                    MANNY
          You mean actually jump out of a
          plane?  You sure,  guy?  That's like,
          a way to die.

                    JESSICA
          So? Are we not men?

The others are too scared to speak.  Until--

                    COWARDLY X'ER
              (heads for exit)
          I'm outta here ...
              (off others' reaction)
          Hey, at least I have the guts to
          admit I'm a coward.

 The Cowardly  X'er  exits.

                    JESSICA
          Anyone else?
                 (no answer)
          Then it's settled.  Bruce, why don't
          you spin.

                    BRUCE
          It'll be a pleasure...

Bruce blows on his hands, rubs them together.  He SPINS.
The wheel is a blur of motion.  Bruce looks at Jessica
smugly.  She stares right back at him.  The wheel slows,
stopping on...

                    MANNY
          The Pat-Man!

Bruce looks at the wheel, stunned.  The others breathe a
sigh of relief.  Bruce looks back at Jessica.  She
smiles.

                    JESS
          Gee-Ronimo, Bruce...

Bruce swallows hard.

                                        CUT TO:

EXT.  BASKETBALL COURT - DAY

Winston vs. Todd game in progress:  Todd is simply
destroying Winston.  A chalk scoreboard marks Winston's
progressive humiliation.  Onlookers cheer, Elizabeth
shakes  her head.

Winston comes up to Liz.

                    WINSTON
          Where is he?

                    ELIZABETH
          If he was Kareem, I'd say lazing
          around the forecourt, waiting for a
          breakaway.
               (off reaction)
          He's said he'd be here.

Winston drags himself back onto the court.  Todd toys
with Winston for a bit, then stuffs another one past him.

                    TODD
          That's twenty, Winston.  One more and
          you're archaeology.

                   WINSTON
                (gesturing)
          Time!

Winston goes up to Liz.  Todd dribbles impatiently.

                    TODD
          What is she, your coach?

                    WINSTON
          We've got a problem here.  The only
          way I could come up with four hundred
          bucks is by selling my kidneys.
          Which, confidentially, are bursting
          right now.

                    ELIZABETH
          Then go.  I'll check out front.

                    WINSTON
                (to Todd)
          Bathroom break!

                    TODD
          Again?

Winston heads for the bathroom.  Liz exits to...

EXT.  FRONT OF SCHOOL

Worthy drives up.  Liz rushes up to him.

                    WORTHY
              (getting out of car)
          Sorry, the coach kept us late.  Am I
          in time?

                    ELIZABETH
          Just barely.  Come on...

EXT.  BASKETBALL  COURT  -   LATER

Liz stands by the side of the court.  Winston returns
from the bathroom, looks to Liz.  She nods.  Todd throws
Winston the ball.

                    TODD
          Here.  Free chance.

                   WINSTON
               (dribbling)
          Alright Wilkins, say yer prayers.

Winston tries to drive past Todd.  Todd deftly steals the
ball.  Winston trips on Todd's foot, lands "painfully" on
his ankle.  Todd stands over him.

                   WINSTON
               (painfully)
          ...My ankle...

                    TODD
          Can you play on it?

Winston tries to stand, then shakes his head.

                    TODD
          That's game.  Shell it out, Eggman...

                    ELIZABETH
          That's not fair.  He's hurt.

                    TODD
          I'm not going to wait for him to
          heal.

                    WINSTON
          ...Let me pick a replacement.

                    TODD
          What the heck, take anyone you can
          find.
               (spins ball on finger)
          But you're only postponing the
          inevitable ...

Liz and Winston accost various spectators, who all shake
their heads "no."  Then, exasperated, Liz goes around the
corner of the building.  She returns with Worthy in tow.

                    ELIZABETH
          Look who I found!

                    ELIZABETH
              (escorts Worthy to Todd)
          Todd, I believe you've heard of James
          Worthy...

                    WORTHY
              (shakes Todd's hand)
          Nice to meet you, Todd.

                    TODD
          Now wait a minute--

                    ELIZABETH
          You said anyone I could find.  I
          found him.  Besides, it's only one
          basket.

                    WORTHY
               (to Liz)
          If he doesn't think he's up to it--

                    TODD
          I'm up to it.  Let's rock...

Todd walks back to half court, Worthy puts on his
goggles, takes the court as well.

                    TODD
             (starts dribbling)
          Alright you overgrown, overpaid,
          charity-supporting, goggle-wearing
          old-timer, see if you can stop THIS!

Todd drives, HARD.  Worthy sticks with him.  Todd pivots,
SHOOTS ... And is completely snuffed by Worthy.  Worthy
recovers the ball, dribbles back to center court.  Todd
closes in.

                    TODD
          Okay, so you've got height.  But I've
          got youth, speed, agility--

Worthy stops dribbling, casually shoots over Todd's head:
Nothing but net.  Todd is dumbstruck.

                    WORTHY
             (goes to get ball)
          I didn't mean to interrupt.  Please,
          continue ...

                    TODD
                (to  himself)
          I'm going  to  die...

MONTAGE:

Worthy wipes the floor with Todd in various interesting
ways.

Liz and Winston look on, give each other high fives.
Passers-by stop to watch the show.  Todd sweats like a
luau pig.

The chalk scoreboard shows Worthy one basket away from
winning.

END  MONTAGE

                    WINSTON
          Alright Mr. Worthy!  One more and
          he's  waffles!

Todd catches his breath as Worthy dribbles back to center
court.  Worthy drives--and slips on some sand!  He falls
to the ground, clutches his ankle.  Liz and Winston run
to his side.

                    ELIZABETH
          You all right?

                    WORTHY
          ...My ... ankle...

                    WINSTON
          That's really funny, Mr. Worthy

                    WORTHY
          I'm not kidding.
                (hands the ball to Winston)
          You're going to have to finish it up
          yourself.

                    WINSTON
           Me?

Worthy hobbles off as Winston stands.

                    WINSTON
           Okay, Todd, I'm gonna put you away.

                    TODD
           I thought you were injured.  or was
           this all a hustle?

Winston drops to the ground, clutching his ankle.  The
ball rolls away.

                    WINSTON
          Ow!  Owww!  Substitute!  i pick--

                    TODD
              (picks  up  ball)
          Unh uh.  This time, I pick.
               (points)
          Liz.

                    ELIZABETH
          Me?  That's  not  fair--

                    TODD
          It's only one basket.  Besides,
          something tells me this was your idea
          in the first place.
             (throws her the ball)
          Take it out.

Elizabeth does, dribbles down court.  At first, Todd cuts
her some slack, but once she's inside the 3pt circle,
he's all over her.  Liz sets, but Todd's long arms
prevent any shot at all.  Liz is frustrated.  Todd can't
help but laugh.

Liz tries for a jumper.  Todd BATS the ball out of her
hands.  He recovers it, starts to drive as Liz grabs her
face.

                    ELIZABETH
          OWWWW!   Todd!!

Todd stops, returns to check on Liz.

                    TODD
          Liz???  You okay?

Liz GRABS the ball from Todd, dribbles past him.  He
tries to catch up, but he's too late: she sinks a perfect
lay-up.  The  Onlookers go wild.

                    ELIZABETH
          In your face, Todd!  In your face!

Winston grabs the ball, high-fives Liz.  Todd is
shattered.

                    WINSTON
          Liz wins it with a Jessica move!
               (off reaction)
          --A morally justified Jessica move.
               (goes to Todd)
          Shell it out Wilkins ...

Todd digs into his pocket, comes out with a wad of bills.

                    TODD
         Here's everything.  Enjoy.

 Todd dejectedly turns, starts to walk away.

                    ELIZABETH
          What's wrong, Todd?

Todd stops.  He's really upset.

                    TODD
          I can't believe you'd pull a stunt
          like this, throw away our friendship,
          just to make some bucks on a
          basketball game!

Worthy joins Todd.

                    WORTHY
          It is pretty lousy to put money
          before your friends, isn't it?

                    TODD
          Yeah, imagine how I feel!

                    WORTHY
          I think they know.

                    TODD
          What?  How would--
             (realizing, sincerely)
          Oh.  ...Have I been this bad?

Liz and Winston nod.  Todd walks over to them.

                    TODD
                (apologetic)
          I had no idea, you guys, really.
          What can I do to make it up to you?

                  ELIZABETH
         I think you've learned your
         lesson.  Right Winston?  ...Winston!

Winston is busy sniffing and stroking the money.

                    WINSTON
          What?  Oh yeah.  Here...
               (gives Todd the money, then to
                bills)
          I'll miss you guys ...

                    TODD
          You don't need to--

                    ELIZABETH
          We don't care about the money.  We
          care about you.

                    WINSTON
          Right.  ...Can I see that fifty?
               (off reaction)
          Just kidding.
               (looks offscreen, holds up
                 ball)
          You, on the crutches!  Buck a point!

Winston exits.

                    ELIZABETH
          Now that that's over, can we talk
          about what to do for our anniversary?

                    TODD
          I wanted it to be a surprise, but...

Todd pulls a weathered, sweaty vacation brochure from his
pocket.  Liz unfolds it, it trumpets a swanky resort.

                    ELIZABETH
          The Ritz Gardens? This  place  costs  a
          fortune!

                    TODD
                (nods)
         That's why I started hustling games.
               (holds up cash)
         This is our anniversary  fund.  I just
         thought about the wonderful time we'd
         have and I was unbeatable.

This touches Liz.

                    ELIZABETH
         Oh, Todd...

Elizabeth throws her arms around Todd, kisses him.
Worthy comes up to them, clears his throat.

                    WORTHY
              (shakes Todd's hand)
          You play a good game.  Stick  with  it,
          and we may meet at MY home court.

                    ELIZABETH
          Thank you so much, Mr. Worthy.

                    WORTHY
          My pleasure.
               (to Todd)
          Don't let her get away.

                    TODD
               (smiles at Liz)
          I won't.

Worthy pats the two of them on the shoulder, then walks
off.  In the BG, the GUY ON CRUTCHES scores another hoop
off Winston.  Todd and Liz kiss.

                                        CUT TO:

INT.  CHARTER PLANE OFFICE - DAY

Jessica is there with Manny and other Club X'ers.  Bruce
is conspicuously absent.

                    JESSICA
          I told you he'd bail.

                    MANNY
          You were right, Jess.  Looks like
          you're the bigger man after all.

                    BRUCE(O.S.)
          Jessica Wakefield as a man.  There's
          something I'd like to see.

The X'ers turn.  Bruce stands in the doorway, outfitted
in skydiving gear.

                    MANNY
          You're going to do it?  Dude!  If you
          pull this off you'll, like, make the
          history books.

                    BRUCE
          Yes.  And the name Bruce Patman shall
          be legend.  As it rightfully should.
               (comes up to Jess)
          Thank you so much, Jessica.  This was
          a brilliant idea.
               (loudly, pointing)
          To my plane!

Bruce leads the other X'ers out to...

EXT.  LANDING STRIP - DAY

Bruce triumphantly leads the procession of X'ers like
John Glenn on his way to conquer space.  A frustrated
Jessica follows.  Bruce gets into the plane, waving

                    BRUCE
          Make sure to get it on video.

                    MANNY
          We will.  ...You are just the
          coolest!
                 (to others)
          Let's get to the stadium!

Manny leads the X'ers off.  Jess stays.

                    BRUCE
          Looks like I win again, Wakefield

                    JESSICA
          You haven't jumped yet, Bruce.

                                        CUT TO:

INT.  PLANE - DAY

In the airborne plane.  Jess sits beside the PILOT, Bruce
checks his gear in the back.  Jess yells back to Bruce
over the ROAR OF THE ENGINE.

                    JESS
          ..or your 'chute could collapse  and
          you'd smash into the earth, leaving
          nothing but  a  Patman-colored stain.

                    BRUCE
              (yells to Pilot)
          How long?

                    PILOT
          Five minutes!

                    BRUCE
          What??
                  (to Jess)
          What'd he say?

An idea hits Jess.  She smiles, then:

                    JESSICA
              (turns to Bruce)
          Five seconds!!

                    BRUCE
          Five seconds???  You sure??

                    JESSICA
               (to Pilot)
          Did you say five?

                    PILOT
               (holding up five fingers)
          Yes, Five!

Bruce sees the Pilot's fingers.  He dons his helmet,
opens the back door.

                    BRUCE
          See you in the history books
          Wakefield!
             (yells as he jumps)
          Viva la Bruce!!!!

                    JESSICA
          I don't think so...

EXT.  SKY

Bruce looks around frantically--the stadium's nowhere in
sight.

                    BRUCE
          Hey!  Where's the stadium?

Bruce makes out the school: a teensy, tiny speck in the
distance.  Bruce realizes he's been had.

                    BRUCE
          WAKEFIELD!!!!!

                                         CUT TO:

EXT.  STADIUM BATHROOMS - DAY

The SOUND of MARCHING BAND and CROWDS.  Manny scans the
sky with a pair of binoculars.  The other X'ers hold
camcorders.  SCREAMING Cheerleaders run by, pursued by
the Goat.

                    MANNY
               (lowers binocs)
          I don't see him.  Musta chickened
          after all.

The X'ers AD LIB "What a loser", etc. as they walk off.

                                         CUT TO:

EXT.  RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY

Cooper gets out of his beautiful, freshly repaired car.
He flicks a speck of dust off the hood, sets the alarm,
and starts to walk away, smiling.

Then, Cooper hears a YELP and a RRRRIPPP!!!  The CAR
ALARM SOUNDS.  Cooper turns back to find Bruce climbing
his way out of the car's demolished soft-top.

                    COOPER
          Patman!?!  This is the last straw.
          You and your Club X pals are going to
          jail!

                    BRUCE
          Easy there, Chrome-dome.  You can't
          prove anything.

  The Club X banner floats down atop Bruce.

                    BRUCE
               (muffled by banner)
          Maybe we can deal ...

                                        FADE OUT.

                 END OF SHOW